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Start Small Practice makes perfect. Build your confidence one small incremental step at a time. Start by saying ‘no’ to small things (like last minute requests that come in at the end of the day when you’re about to log off work or leave the building to go home), then work your way up to saying ‘no’ to big things (like building an expensive feature into your product with low commercial viability or taking on what feels like the 200th additional shift since covid began to help clear the backlog of surgeries caught in the system) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1676702578953-1Y8ATO9X0VXX15LWRYDK/unsplash-image-1i7RLrsEcZo.jpg Articles - 5 ways to say ‘no’ - 2. Get clear on what’s important to you We often lose sight of what’s truly important when we get busy or life throws us some curve balls. Define and anchor, or remind and re-anchor, yourself to your core values. For example, is spending quality time with your family the most important thing for you, yet you find yourself working 12-14 hour days with some weekends? Every time you have a decision to make - to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ - anchor yourself back to your core values and ask yourself these questions: Will saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ bring me closer to what’s most important to me? If I say ‘yes’, then what will I need to say ‘no’ to? This time next year, will I regret saying ‘yes’ today? Use your values to build your confidence and inner strength and say ‘no’ with conviction If you are in a situation where you can’t say no for whatever reason, make it worth your while. Ask yourself these questions: How can I turn this into an opportunity that benefits me too? How can I reframe this request so that it aligns to and serve my values well? What can I ask the requestor in return that will bring me closer to what’s most important to me? If you need a place to start when it comes to identifying your values, download our Anchored By My Values worksheet https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1676703036160-6OOUJY3V3VMFS8L35U42/unsplash-image-p0xDCNg3cw8.jpg Articles - 5 ways to say ‘no’ - 3. Ask the requestor to help you prioritise their ask This strategy is particularly helpful when you are getting overloaded with requests from one person, or a number of people from different departments who are aware of each other and all require your help to work towards the same (or conflicting) goals Use a whiteboard, post-it notes on a wall, a piece of paper, a Google Doc, a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet, whatever works for you. Create three columns and label them as ‘To Do’, ‘Doing’ and ‘Done’. Put all of your to-do list items up in priority order under each of the three labels and keep your to-do list in this format updated when the status of a task changes, more tasks come in or tasks drop off your to-do list When a new request comes in that you want to say ‘no’ to, show your to-do list to the requestor and ask for their help to prioritise the things on your list; acknowledging you have fixed capacity. Ask the requestor questions like: What order or priority does the new request sit in, relative to all of the other items? What can I stop doing in order to prioritise and start the new request? If the requestor is adamant the new request should be your highest priority and you need to deprioritise work you are doing for other people, kindly ask that they support you by speak to the other people you are currently doing work for to get their agreement you can deprioritise your delivery to them in favour of the new request https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1676704581192-7PMTM8A9TKA3RZ5PH6WW/unsplash-image-SQM0sS0htzw.jpg Articles - 5 ways to say ‘no’ - 4. Offer an Alternative High performers are often rewarded with more work because people trust and respect the consistency of their delivery timeframes and the quality outcomes that are achieved. They become the ‘go to’ person and no one else is even considered for the job A kind way to express gratitude and say ‘no’ is to find an alternate option for the requestor that will give them the desired outcome without you taking on the work. You may have a very competent colleague who is willing to take on the request because they are seeking career progression, financial stability, or it aligns to another value they have. Connect your colleague and the requestor by saying something like “Thank you for thinking of me for this piece of work. Unfortunately I need to decline this time, however let me introduce you to Max. Max is well qualified to do the work and I think you will enjoy collaborating with them on this” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1676705750827-ICG8R26BCN95T4P7L51Y/unsplash-image-Be5aVKFv9ho.jpg Articles - 5 ways to say ‘no’ - 5. Be Direct The clearer you are in saying ‘no’, the better the other person will respond because they are clear on what their next action needs to be - to find an alternative. Phrases like “No, I’m afraid I can’t”, “No, I have another commitment to attend to”, or “No, I don’t have the capacity to do that” are good because they close the conversation immediately and set clear expectations Saying “Maybe, let me think about it”, “I’m busy right now, perhaps when I’m done with this thing I’m doing”, or “I can’t do it right now, I’ll put it on the list” and hoping the request will go away almost always causes damage to the very relationship you want to preserve. Phrases like this inadvertently set expectations. What the requestor hears is “Yes, I’ll do this for you, you just need to wait a short time before I can get to your request.” They think you have committed to doing the job or that you will come back to them if you discover you can’t https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/why-you-dont-need-to-be-the-smartest-person-in-the-room monthly 0.5 2025-07-29 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/what-is-coaching monthly 0.5 2025-07-03 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/does-professional-coaching-reduce-burnout-and-improve-the-mental-health-of-doctors monthly 0.5 2025-06-08 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/crazy-socks-4-docs-day-2025 monthly 0.5 2025-06-09 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/australian-healthcare-week-2025 monthly 0.5 2025-04-26 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/culture-add-by-being-culturally-aware-this-lunar-new-year-of-the-dragon monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/how-to-prolong-your-holiday-glow monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/a-spark-of-creativity-for-christmas monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/world-kindness-day-13-november monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/fake-it-til-you-make-it-and-other-terrible-leadership-advice monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/crazysocks4docs-day-2023 monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/5-essential-skills-you-need-for-your-specialist-medical-college-examinations monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1683537323942-H9GH1AL55H64EVRYHK6C/unsplash-image-6g2baTibNVo.jpg Articles - 5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS YOU NEED FOR YOUR SPECIALIST MEDICAL COLLEGE EXAMINATIONS - 1. MINDFULNESS Lomas et al. (2017) performed a systematic review of mindfulness research papers and discovered that mindfulness has a beneficial impact upon mental health; with the strongest results for improvement linked to anxiety and stress. This systematic review included 153 publications, involving 12,571 participants, covering a wide range of occupations including physicians (10 studies), nurses (16), disability professionals (4), therapists, psychologists and counsellors (24), mixed (non-specific) mental health professionals (8), mixed (non-specific) healthcare professionals (20) to name a few. One of my favourite mindfulness techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique which helps you to manage your anxiety by anchoring to the present. It only takes a few moments and not only is it the perfect way to dampen those nerves and worries, it’s a great way to help you familiarise and get comfortable with your exam environment. Take a few slow, deep breaths and then: look for 5 things that you can see, become aware of 4 things that you can touch, acknowledge 3 things that you can hear, notice 2 things that you can smell, and finally become aware of 1 thing that you can taste. That’s it! For a more comprehensive coverage of 5-4-3-2-1, head over to https://insighttimer.com/blog/54321-grounding-technique/ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1683543075755-S3WO704YK64QCRKSGSP2/image-asset.jpeg Articles - 5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS YOU NEED FOR YOUR SPECIALIST MEDICAL COLLEGE EXAMINATIONS - 2. BREATHE Hopper et al. (2019) performed a quantitative systemic review to evaluate the effectiveness of diaphragmatic breathing for reducing physiological and psychological stress in adults 18 years and over; with positive results. One of my favourite breathing techniques is the Box Breathing Technique which is also used by the United States Navy SEALs. Like 5-4-3-2-1, this too only takes a few moments to implement. The name “box breathing” is a reference to the fact that a two dimensional box (or square) has four sides. To perform this technique, you breathe whilst slowly counting to four for a total of four times: breathe in slowly for four counts, hold your breath for four counts, breathe out slowly for four counts, and finally hold your breath for four counts. Repeat this as many times as you need until you feel yourself enter into a relaxed, calm state. If it helps, visualise yourself drawing the four sides of the box whilst breathing. That’s it! For a more comprehensive coverage of the Box Breathing Technique, head over to https://health.clevelandclinic.org/box-breathing-benefits/ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1683544177096-DBXFB06KMDCNWOOOKTGR/unsplash-image-X44G8Gor1Jc.jpg Articles - 5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS YOU NEED FOR YOUR SPECIALIST MEDICAL COLLEGE EXAMINATIONS - 3. KEEP BREATHING Seriously, keep breathing. Slowly. After studying 78 people (41 men and 37 women with a mean age of 23), Laborde et al. (2022) concluded that slow-paced breathing improved one’s executive function performance. Executive function essentially describes the set of skills that underly your cognitive capacity - your ability to make decisions, plan and solve problems; all of which depend on the three core executive functions at the heart of this study - inhibition, working memory, and cognitive flexibility. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1683547466266-AST60PWVH8VKOEGFND66/unsplash-image-OaPksPcVp50.jpg Articles - 5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS YOU NEED FOR YOUR SPECIALIST MEDICAL COLLEGE EXAMINATIONS - 4. LOOK AND SOUND CONFIDENT, EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT FEELING IT “You are being judged on your confidence and competence, not just your content, and the way you appear and how you sound matters.” - Gallo (2018) Blankespoor et al. (2017) demonstrated that it only takes 30-seconds for your audience to formulate a judgment on your competence, with that judgment having a direct flow through to your results in a corresponding manner (i.e. positive impressions leading to positive results vs negative perceptions leading to negative results). Gallo’s recommendations on how to look confident include: making eye contact with your audience, keeping an open posture, using gestures, and dress 25% better than anyone else in the room. Gallo’s recommendations on how to sound confident include: eliminating filler words, taking time to pause, varying your pace, replacing long words with short ones, and rehearsing under stress. One I would add in here would be to speak loudly and clearly. For a more comprehensive coverage of Gallo’s recommendations, head over to https://hbr.org/2019/10/how-to-look-and-sound-confident-during-a-presentation and https://hbr.org/2018/05/5-ways-to-project-confidence-in-front-of-an-audience https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1683626313039-8MO7DFD2IHIH0LBQVO1K/image-asset.jpeg Articles - 5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS YOU NEED FOR YOUR SPECIALIST MEDICAL COLLEGE EXAMINATIONS - 5. SAVOUR THE MOMENT When it comes to our own personal performance, we tend to be quite tough on ourselves; critical and judgmental in ways that others may not be. After an event is over, in this case your exam or a component of the exam, there is nothing further you can do to influence the outcome. Everything within your locus of control happened in the moments preceding this one. What is within your control is the ability to enjoy, or savour, the moment. You may have just completed the last hurdle to your very long journey towards specialist registration. Bask in the moment and revel in the accomplishment of having made it this far. You will never get this moment back. Be proud, whatever the outcome. Don’t skip past this moment in your rush to get to the next hurdle. Bryant (2017) outlined the existence of 10 identified savouring strategies which included things such as sharing with others, memory building, self-congratulating and the counting of blessings. What we pay attention to has a significant impact on our overall wellbeing. If you allow critical thoughts to enter your mind and let them consume you, it could impact your mood and hamper your ability to perform as well as you could in your next case study or impact how you show up and experience the things that occur for the remainder of your day or even your week. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1683628399952-3ZS00ZEAW69U2KBH1101/image-asset.jpeg Articles - 5 ESSENTIAL SKILLS YOU NEED FOR YOUR SPECIALIST MEDICAL COLLEGE EXAMINATIONS - IT’S TIME TO BALANCE YOUR BOOK SMARTS OUT WITH YOUR STREET SMARTS Don’t just focus on studying the books and acquiring more knowledge, or applying that knowledge intellectually on paper, when it comes to preparing for your specialist medical college clinical or oral exam. Get up and role play it. Go practice on willing family members, friends, peers, colleagues and other supporters where possible. When doing your job and working the floors of the hospital, be more conscious about your words and actions to learn from every case and every interaction you have with a patient. Get professional help. “Great coaches...are your external eyes and ears, providing a more accurate picture of your reality...they’re breaking your actions down and then helping you build them back up again.” - Dr. Atul Gawande A non-doctor coach with rigorous coaching psychology training and decades of professional wisdom in leadership, relationship, performance and wellbeing can offer you fresh perspectives gained from an evidence base and lived experiences outside of healthcare and medicine (Bozer et al., 2014). Lai-Ling has spent decades helping executives and leaders at all levels to: overcome their barriers to public speaking, confidently communicate, present information to their audiences in impactful ways, and build strong interpersonal relationships with their customers, colleagues and communities. These are human skills that transcend all industries, professions, titles or stages of training. This is how you fundamentally connect and interact with others, human to human. These skills will not only help you lift your confidence levels as you prepare for your specialist medical college clinical or oral exams, they will help you establish solid foundations in your professional practice and in your personal life for years to come. A non-doctor coach can help you see what you don’t see, spot where you’re veering off course, and help you find ways forward because we’re not focused on your medical or technical expertise. You have a myriad of other support mechanisms for that already. We focus on helping you improve your confidence in connecting and interacting with others, your human skills. For more information on how Lai-Ling can help you prepare for your specialist medical college clinical or oral exams, head over to https://www.helloagility.com.au/thriving-in-healthcare-medicine/preparation-for-specialist-medical-college-clinical-or-oral-examinations https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/free-webinar-how-to-not-let-burnout-sabotage-your-career-or-your-relationships-3may2023 monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/career-reflections-tools-for-product-people monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/crazysocks4docs-day-2022 monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/burnout-does-not-discriminate monthly 0.5 2025-07-03 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/serious-play monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://www.helloagility.com.au/articles/hands-off-the-keyboard-the-cognitive-benefits-of-doodling-and-learning-through-hand-written-materials monthly 0.5 2024-12-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ed3533c194c0711d9812e0b/1610348221730-BESPFPO5CTVSFQENPAT2/20190417_095317.jpg Articles - HANDS OFF THE KEYBOARD! - THE COGNITIVE BENEFITS OF DOODLING AND LEARNING THROUGH HAND WRITTEN MATERIALS. I put together this sketchnote about two years ago during a positive psychology lecture. To outsiders with no background in positive psychology, this picture means very little. To outsiders with knowledge of positive psychology, this picture can make sense to them though they are required to utilise their own meaning making capabilities to fill in the gaps. However, to me, it is a very powerful image. As I sit here and write this article, I can vividly recall the conversation that occurred in that moment, the content behind the picture, the meaning behind each element of the sketchnote, and how my peers and I made sense of the materials we were learning at the time. All because my attention was engaged and I did the mental heavy lifting in the moment whilst I generated the sketchnote. 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