Are you really listening?

3 July

Listening has become somewhat of a buzz word in recent times

We hear things like:

to become a better leader, listen to your people
to manage change well, listen to your customers and colleagues
to build trust and influence well, listen to your stakeholders
to resolve conflicts, listen to both sides
to drive innovation, listen to all ideas
to deliver better patient care, listen to your consumers

You think you’re good at listening, but are you really?

96% of professionals consider themselves to be good listeners; but how could we all be above average? Research has shown that we only have a 25% efficiency rate when it comes to listening what we hear; and our increasingly digital and technologically driven world is making it harder and harder for us to truly stop and listen

One thing that great listeners do

People perceive the best listeners to be the ones who periodically ask questions that promote discovery and insight. The types of questions that gently challenge old assumptions, but do so in a constructive way. The best listeners promote open two-way dialogues where all parties are actively participating

So how can you tell if you’re really listening?

Stephen Covey gave us a frame with which we can quickly ascertain how well we are really listening:

Ignoring: here we aren’t listening at all; we’re trying to avoid the conversation entirely
Pretending: here we use our body language or cues to convince someone we’re listening but really we’re not
Selective: here we engage in confirmation bias; we scan for what we agree or don’t agree with
Attentive: here we absorb what is shared without too much bias and focus on processing and responding
Empathetic: here we listen and respond to the emotional intent in the message

Have a think about the conversations you’ve had today. What type of listening were you engaged in? What type of listening should you have been engaging in? What could have helped you listen better in those moments?

Want to become a better listener to influence more effectively and build products people love?

Let’s work on this together. Here are three ways:

Influencing for Impact: This practical 2-day workshop is for you if you want to influence a decision maker, influence a change in customer or colleague behaviour, or influence someone to buy something from you
Executive and Leadership Team Coaching: Work directly with Lai-Ling to problem solve for your specific situation in a confidential setting. This is for you if you want to develop and execute on a game plan that is 100% tailored for you
Leadership Development: Invest in the product and transformation leaders in your company with leadership development that is customised for their role. This is for you if you want to learn about people and politics

Let's Talk

References

Accenture. (2015). Accenture Research Finds Listening More Difficult in Today's Digital Workplace. Accenture. Retrieved 3 July 2025 from https://newsroom.accenture.com/news/2015/accenture-research-finds-listening-more-difficult-in-todays-digital-workplace

Covey, S. R. (2013). The 7 habits of highly effective people : powerful lessons in personal change (25th anniversary edition. ed.). Simon & Schuster.

Eklund, A. (2025). Listening to Reply vs Listening to Understand. AIM. Retrieved 3 July 2025 from https://www.aim.com.au/blog/listening-reply-vs-listening-understand#:~:text=In%202006%2C%20Dr.,'

Nichols, R. G., & Stevens, L. A. (1957). Listening to People. Harvard Business Publishing. Retrieved 3 July 2025 from https://hbr.org/1957/09/listening-to-people

Williams, S. D. (2004). Listening Effectively. Wright State University. Retrieved 3 July 2025 from https://people.wright.edu/sites/people.wright.edu/files/user-uploads/scott.williams/effective-listening.pdf

Zenger, J., & Folkman, J. (2016). What Great Listeners Actually Do. Harvard Business Publishing. Retrieved 3 July 2025 from https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do

Lai-Ling Su