How touch shapes trust and influence
Why touch is so special
Each of the five human sense have enormous powers of persuasion, but the power of touch has something special going for it when it comes to invoking trust and influence in the world of product and transformation. Touch is the first of our five senses to develop in the womb, starting only eight weeks into pregnancy, and it’s a huge source of feedback. When touch works as it should, it provides us with a steady stream of crucial information without demanding a lot of our attention
But we need to be careful
Not everyone reacts and responds to touch in the same way. There could be cultural, religious or medical reasons where people avoid or limit physical contact with other human beings. We know that neurodivergence can also significantly impact a person’s experience of touch. The use of touch as a mechanism to build trust and influence is one that requires good contextualised judgment on the instigators part. If in doubt, do your research or ask
So how can touch help me then?
Shake hands with the person you’re trying to influence: Research from the University of California, Berkeley tells us that shaking hands with the opposing party promotes better deal making, and shaking hands can improve the outcome of negotiations for both sides. But it’s not just about the physical contact. It’s the meaning that we humans apply to this social ritual that is impactful. The act of shaking hands allows the opposing party to make an immediate inference that “this person is going to cooperate with me; they are not going to do me harm” and so they decide to cooperate with you. If you’re striving for a win-win outcome, start with a handshake!
Buy them a warm cup of coffee: Yale University psychologists have evidence that people will judge others to be more generous and caring if they had just held a warm cup of coffee and less so if they had held an ice coffee. Similarly, they showed people are more likely to give something to others if they had just held something warm and more likely to take something for themselves if they had just held something cold. If you want generosity and care to be in the room and part of the negotiation or conversation, supply warm beverages!
Let them play with the product: Demos, reviews, and showcases have become part of the product and transformation world’s vocabulary and ways of working. Often they work under the principle that “seeing is believing.” This is when concepts or ideas move from abstract to reality through the use of prototyping and early previews of the technology or product that is being built. But what if your stakeholders, colleagues and customers need more to ensure they’re really bought in and won’t throw you last minute curve balls? Rather than simplying showing them in a video or on a shared screen with you controlling the activity, hand the control over to your stakeholders, colleagues and customers. Let them play with the technology or product. Let them prove for themselves that it can do the job they need it to do!
Want to learn more about how your five human senses can help you influence more effectively?
Let’s work together on this. Here are three ways:
Influencing for Impact: This practical 2-day workshop is for you if you want to influence a decision maker, influence a change in customer or colleague behaviour, or influence someone to buy something from you
Executive and Leadership Team Coaching: Work directly with Lai-Ling to problem solve for your specific situation in a confidential setting. This is for you if you want to develop and execute on a game plan that is 100% tailored to you
Leadership Development: Invest in the product and transformation leaders in your company with leadership development that is customised for their role. This is for you if you want to learn about people and politics
References
Blanding, M. (2018). A fair shake: Study finds handshaking promotes better deal-making. University of California, Berkeley. Retrieved 7 July 2025 from https://newsroom.haas.berkeley.edu/study-finds-handshaking-promotes-better-deal-making/
Caruso, C. (2024). Exploring Our Sense of Touch from Every Angle. Harvard Medical School. Retrieved 7 July 2025 from https://hms.harvard.edu/news/exploring-our-sense-touch-every-angle
Schroeder, J., Risen, J., Gino, F., & Norton, M. (2014). Handshaking Promotes Cooperative Dealmaking. SSRN Electronic Journal. https://doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.2443551
YaleNews. (2008). With hot coffee, we see a warm heart, Yale researchers find. Yale. Retrieved 7 July 2025 from https://news.yale.edu/2008/10/23/hot-coffee-we-see-warm-heart-yale-researchers-find