The leadership drift: when you slowly become someone you never intended to be
There’s a quiet phenomenon that happens to many senior leaders
It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t happen dramatically. And it doesn’t happen because of a single decision
It happens slowly, incrementally, and almost invisibly
You wake up one day and realise you’ve become someone you never intended to be
Not in a moral sense. Not in an ethical sense. But in a leadership identity sense:
You’re operating in ways that don’t feel like you
You’re making decisions from a place you don’t recognise
You’re carrying responsibilities that don’t align with your values
You’re reacting instead of leading
You’re surviving instead of shaping
This is the leadership drift. The gradual, unintentional shift away from the leader you set out to be
It happens to the most capable, most self aware, and most high performing leaders
Especially in environments that reward resilience over reflection, delivery over direction, and steadiness over self definition
How leadership drift begins
Leadership drift rarely starts with a crisis. It starts with small compromises:
You say yes to work you shouldn’t own
You absorb tension that isn’t yours
You adjust your tone to match the room
You soften your clarity to avoid conflict
You take on responsibilities because “it’s easier if I just do it”
You prioritise what’s urgent over what’s important
You make decisions based on what will keep things moving, not what will move things forward
None of these moments feel significant on their own, but over time they accumulate. Slowly, you drift away from:
Your core values
Your principles
Your leadership edge
Your strategic altitude
Your authentic voice
You don’t notice it at first, but you feel it. A quiet dissonance, a subtle misalignment, or a sense that you’re performing a version of leadership rather than inhabiting it
Why product and transformation leaders are especially vulnerable to drift
Your role sits in the most volatile, ambiguous, politically charged parts of the organisation. You’re constantly navigating:
Conflicting priorities
Leaders with different appetites for risk
Teams moving at different speeds
Decisions made without full context
Stakeholders who want progress without trade offs
Systems that weren’t designed to work together
This environment creates pressure to:
Smooth things over
Keep things moving
Absorb complexity
Protect teams
Manage emotional fallout
Translate misalignment
Hold everything and everyone together
And because you’re good at it, exceptional at it, the organisation leans on you for it
But this reliance comes with a cost
You start shaping yourself around the system’s needs instead of shaping the system around your leadership
You become the person who fills the gaps, not the person who defines the direction
This is how drift begins
The emotional cost: you feel like you’re losing yourself
Leadership drift doesn’t feel like burnout. It feels like erosion. You feel:
Less sharp
Less grounded
Less connected to your purpose
Less confident in your instincts
Less energised by your work
Less like the leader you know you are
You’re still performing. You’re still delivering. You’re still trusted. But internally, something feels off
You’re not leading from the core of who you are. You’re leading from a place of obligation, expectation, or habit
The disconnection is exhausting in a way that’s hard to articulate
The identity cost: you become a version of yourself that is optimised for the system and not optimised for your growth
When drift takes hold, your leadership identity becomes shaped by:
What the organisation needs from you
What others expect from you
What you’ve been historically good at
What keeps things stable
What avoids conflict
What maintains momentum
You become the leader who:
Fixes instead of shapes
Absorbs instead of influences
Reacts instead of reframes
Delivers instead of directs
Stabilises instead of strategises
This version of you is competent, respected, and valued. But it’s not your fullest expression of leadership
It’s a compressed version. One that fits the system, but not your potential
The opportunity cost: drift pulls you away from the work that would expand you
When you’re drifting, you lose access to:
Strategic conversations that require your altitude
Enterprise level decisions that need your judgment
Opportunities that would stretch your range
Work that aligns with your next level identity
Visibility that shifts how leaders perceive you
Moments that build your future, not just maintain your present
You’re busy, but not advancing. You’re valued, but not evolving. You’re essential, but not expanding
Drift keeps you in motion, but not in growth
How high impact leaders reverse the drift
They pause long enough to notice it
Drift thrives on speed. The first step is slowing down enough to ask:
“Is this the leader I want to be?”
“Is this decision aligned with my principles?”
“Am I leading from intention or from habit?”
“What part of me is making this choice? From fear, obligation, or clarity?”
Awareness interrupts the drift
They reconnect with the core of their leadership
This means returning to:
Your values
Your principles
Your instincts
Your strategic altitude
Your authentic voice
You remember who you are, and who you’ve become
They stop over functioning in ways that distort their leadership
This is the hardest shift. You stop:
Absorbing emotional labour
Carrying unowned work
Smoothing over misalignment
Protecting leaders from consequences
Taking responsibility for things outside your remit
You reclaim your boundaries
They re-anchor their leadership identity in the future, not the past
You start speaking and acting from the altitude you’re growing into. You say things like:
“Here’s the strategic pattern I’m seeing”
“Here’s the decision architecture we need”
“Here’s the enterprise level risk we’re not naming”
“Here’s the shift that will unlock value”
You show the organisation the leader you are now, not the one you drifted into
They choose alignment over accommodation
This is where drift reverses. You make decisions based on:
What’s true
What’s needed
What’s strategic
What’s aligned
What’s yours to own
Not what’s easiest. Not what’s expected. Not what keeps the peace
If you feel like you’re drifting, you’re not lost. You’re ready
Leadership drift isn’t a failure, it’s a signal. A sign that:
You’ve been operating in survival mode for too long
Your leadership identity is ready to evolve
You’re ready to lead from intention, not obligation
You’re not becoming someone you don’t recognise. You’re being called back to the leader you always were, and the leader you’re becoming
If you want to reverse the drift and lead from clarity, alignment, and strategic altitude, then let’s work on this together. Here are three ways:
Influencing for Impact: This practical 2-day workshop is for you if you want to influence a decision maker, influence a change in customer or colleague behaviour, or influence someone to buy something from you
Executive and Leadership Team Coaching: Work directly with Lai-Ling to problem solve for your specific situation in a confidential setting. This is for you if you want to develop and execute on a game plan that is 100% tailored to you
Leadership Development: Invest in the product and transformation leaders in your company with leadership development that is customised for their role. This is for you if you want your people to learn about people and politics